Saturday, June 30, 2018



Have you ever cried so much, you lost your voice? Have you ever been so hurt by somenone that you lose yourself. Have you ever lost your light?

Sunday, April 30, 2017


I want to...
chase the white rabbit again and fall into your wonderland.
hold up 1000 speakers so I can be heard.
be the red queen; "Off with their heads"!

Today's post all started from something I watched from the ladies of Buzz feed, who decided to recreate famous playboy covers. This got me thinking..."If I were to recreate a Playboy Cover which one would it be?" A quick google search lead me to a Russian issue of Playboy that really resonated with me. Since my surname happens to be Russian in it's origin I thought it was perfect.

Of course I had to change up the cover a little, just to be a little unique. I tried my best to recreate with the limitation of my skills. I don't think it's too far off.

The Look-Alice
Hair-Clawtooth: Hand in Glove - Chocolate Cake
Earring-(Yummy) Spring Bouquet Earring - Pearl
Fur- CURELESS [+] Red Queen's Realm / Cheshire's Shawl / RED
Rabbit-The Secret Store - Little Rabbit - Snow
Pose- oOo belle_two

Musical Inspiration: 

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

In Bloom

In Bloom

It's spring, here we are, "In Bloom"

Musical Inspiration:

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Lose You

 Lose You
You can't take my memories, dreams and spirit.

I am not OK with what is happening. Just because there are no tears doesn't mean I don't feel emotion or that the sting of hurt is any less. You don't have the right to see the parts of me that I don't want to share. I should have the right to be able to chose who I share my life with. Privacy matters and is valuable, It's a basic right that EVERYONE is entitled to.

There is nothing wrong with me or the choices I have made. I don't regret who I am or the things I have done. I've never asked for anyone's approval on how I should live my life.

We all have choices. We can impact one another directly with our actions and presence. I like to think that I have the courage to stand by my convictions and remain strong, but it's growing harder everyday. It becomes especially difficult when the person and people you care for can't be there for you and you know it's not by their choice.

Please give me the opportunity to build my relationships freely with whoever I choose. Give me the freedom to express my thoughts and share laughs, memories and stories with my friends. Talking is a basic building block used to form relationship and right now I can't establish foundations that are necessary to build and maintain friendships. 

After spending a large amount of time in this virtual world and meeting people in a real life I can't help but call the people I've meet friends. Being around them feels like home. There is an acceptance and understanding I've only felt during short periods of my life and I don't want to lose that. These friends come from all over the world and have many differences but we all share a few similarities; mainly the love of music.

I don't want to indirectly cause harm to anyone, which is why I have chosen to push people away. My actions are deliberate to not impact anyone around me.  I want to protect my friends from having their privacy invaded simply by talking with me and sharing a story or laugh. I don't want a careless word to be muttered from my lips or anyone else's, to impact someone indirectly. My life isn't a joke or game and neither is yours. No one should have to experience this.

It isn't easy to just ignore all that is happening around me and continue with my life. I didn't ask for this. I wouldn't have chosen it. I just want freedom for myself and my friends. How would you react or handle yourself if you were placed in the same situation? Would you be defensive? Would you build walls up so high only few who were brave could get in? Would you listen to lies and fall back into a false sense of security? Would you be resentful? Would you stand your ground?

I know this has impacted me deep to my core. I'll never feel like I have the same opportunities as everyone else. I'm already at a disadvantage because so much of myself has been given without my consent. I will always be left wondering and looking over my shoulder and questioning people's motives. I may never truly feel safe.

I have unanswered questions mainly, Why and How long and for what purpose. We're past the point of denying or covering up. I want restitution for what has been done and the ability to heal in private. I want the freedom to love and I want to make sure this NEVER happens to anyone else.

*steps off soapbox and ends rant

Musical Inspiration: Lose you, Pete Yorn

Tuesday, March 14, 2017


Hunt Cupid may have his bow and arrow, but I have mine too.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017



Musical Inspiration: Cannonball

The Look- Hair: Cannonball
Shirt-EVANI- Gia top  [Human glitch]
Skirt-Erratic / pepper - skirt / red
Stockings-[Juju] Tokyo Ripped
Boots-N-core ROGUE "Black"

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Let Me Be Your Girl

and if it pleased you... .....And if it pleased you. I would grow you an entire garden filled with tomatoes. 

 The weather in my part of the world has shifted from cold snowy weather to warmer sunshine days. It isn't a constant part of our lives at the moment, but the days where we have bits of sunshine have been extremely nice. This weather has me longing for tomatoes. (I know. weird) but recently I can't get enough of them. I found myself buying a few giant tomatoes at the store this weekend and I know they will be eaten promptly topped with balsamic vinegar and salt. 

I've been so tomato inspired that I had to create an entire garden. One day, I'd love to have a place where I can grow tomatoes in the summer and eat them fresh from the vine. If you have never experienced that simple pleasure of life you are missing out. There really is nothing quite like picking your own fruit and serving it on your table or sharing with others. Until I get the opportunity to cultivate my own garden, I'm going to have to be content with the one I've created in Second Life. 

 Musical Inspiration: Let me be your girl, Rachael Yamagata (It's on repeat today....I love her voice)

The Look-Let Me Be Your Girl
Hair- Magika - Fever -(New Release)
Hat- Curled Brim Straw Hat
Shorts- erratic / lisa - shorts / navy
Top-erratic / yvonne - tie-up shirt / red plaid
Bikini Top-erratic / beth - bikini top / beige